Severe Weather Alert

The national weather service has issued a severe weather warning for the 200 block of Folsom st in Brookings SD. Residents of that area are advised to lock up their daughters and booze and seek shelter. The Storm has recently been named Hurricane JAT, a combination I’m told of Jami and Pat. The hurricane has been in a stationary position over the Fart Bunker all of Saturday morning and is currently a class 2 shit storm. The Hurricane is expected progress into a class 4 possibly class 5 shit storm by 9 pm Saturday night, as the weather service has learned about a large quantity of Natural Ice and Strip and go naked’s that are going to be consumed by the storm. Ugliness is predicted till early into the morning.