It Stinks Like Sex In Here

So I had a relativly mellow night at the Garage last night, a few beers, a few laughs no big deal. I returned home to find neither The Drunk, or The Pirate Hooker in the fart bunker. Now this is not that unusual for a thursday night but something seemed odd last night. I remembered a call I got from TPH at the Garage where she asked if she brought a limo out could everyone fit in the bar? My reply was "we can fit everyone but you." After realizing that the 2 biggest alcoholics in South Dakota were out together in Brookings without any supervision, I thought maybe I should investigate, but I knew better. I decided I would try not to think about the naked mess of arms sweat and lube that TPH and TD were probably tangled up in, and I would go to bed. Lying in bed I for a while I hear a large crash come through the front door of the fart bunker, then everything went silent. I wondered if everyone was alright and thought maybe I should go downstairs to investigate, but then I remembered what happened to TD the last time he investigated TPH's where abouts, he poked his head in her room to see if she was home, and got an eye full of chucks naked anteater passed out next to TPH. (You FAG) Needless to say there was no way I was gona let that happen to me, I stayed in bed. I woke up this morning and the Fart Bunker didn't have it's ussual stench to it. It is more of a moldy bread soaking in a Tub of KY smell. Even though the culprit realized the smell was very very strong and opened up the window in the living room to air it out, it still took my breath away and knocked me to my knee's and made my eyes water as I walked down the stairs.

So now the question is who done it, kinda like the milton bradley game Clue? Could Chuck have performed an encore performance, could dillon have made another drunk bike ride to a house where he knew no one, just a Pirate hooker from a phone call, possibly a new Bartender from Ray's corner, well not new to ray's but new to TPH's squish mitten. Or could it have possibly have been local celebrity Glen The Can Man, it has been rumored that Glen has recently ended his world record streak for striking out after some lonely chick with very little self esteem was seen making out with him at Skinners Pub home of the Blizzard beer system, which serves draft beer up at 28 degrees. I havn't found any real evidence around the apartment that would suggest any of these canididates, but that fact is why I can't rule any of them out. Someday the truth will come out but probably not till TPH and TD get back from their date tonight at the OAR concert in The Big city.