One Night In BangCock
It was a dark and Lonely night in Brookings Sd I had just takin my last dose of medication for herpes when a certian, Dirt Ball Came to town to have some fun and get some Action. The Plan was reall simple, Get some drinks hit on some girls and get laid, and if that failed institute plan B, call some gilrs that have been willing in the past, like a certain girl from White, and the always willing Finger Trap. Dirt Ball was just gona have to prey that he would get recption up in the boonies of SD.
The night progresses swimmmingly Drinks are flowing, girls are plentiful and DB is in prime form. The Bars close early that cold December night, and plan A failed, Plan B is full swing. The old Cell Phone is heating up as DB is Frantically dialing Fringer Trap, ( who by the way failed to complete the trifecta by slleping with DB and his 2 brothers in 3 consecutive nights, she went 2 for 3) Here is the recorded Transcript of that legandary call.
Dirt Ball: Finger Trap, what’s up?
Finger Trap: DB, do you know what time it is?
Dirt Ball: 2:15 why?
Finger Trap: Cause I’m sleeping with my boyfriend right now. Why are you calling me?
Dirt Ball: I want to get laid obviously.
Finger Trap: umm, I don’t think tonight is going to work for me, I already have my boyfriend and his best friend in bed with me.
Dirt Ball: I understand but it’s not like I’m asking you to take part in a DVDA. (Double Vaginal double anal)
Finger Trap: We don’t have enough guys for that anyway.
Dirt Ball: True, alright Finger Trap I’m gona be straight with you, I will push your shit in.
Finger Trap: Click.
Dirt Ball: Fuck, Well here goes plan C.
DB's plan C was nothing Shy of brilliant. He decided to hit up the futon in the Fart Bunker where he would have a great view in TPH's room. He put on his best smile and tried to look appealing to a girl who just came home from a night of heavy drinking. TPH resisted as best she could by going into her room and going to sleep but she just couldn't bring herself to close her door. Just as DB susspected she couldn't resist. So with his quick thinking he comes up with the perfect line for the situation, I believe it went something like this.
Dirt Ball: TPH, you want me to come in there.
TPH: Is that the best you’ve got?
Dirt Ball: Yep!
TPH: Ok.
And with that, the night was a sucess for the ODB.
posted by Snapper Hunter at 9:07 AM
9 Comments:
Which is Awesome
It is Awesome, you know what the best part is. Something very similar happened to Brew, except Brew left the door open for The Pirate Hooker.
That a boy breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew...way to get after the pirate hooker
Sorry I haven't been able to keep up on my blog page reading. DB your story telling skills have developed since I last logged on; good for you. You should tell your readers about the times you have erectile dysfunction, by the way how did your appointment go? I hope you and Dr. 90210 have success with that penile implant you are trying. Remember there is a very fine line between whisky dick and limp dick!
Cheers
I challenge anyone to get mine-blasted wasted on $2 Morgan cokes from Jim’s Tap in then try to have sex with a Wildebeest. I’m glad I didn’t get it up, Wildebeest are known for their sucking abilities and I got to experience that. Plus who knows maybe the rubber would have broke then I’d have a baby wildebeest. And everybody knows that children with hooves must be immediately destroyed in SD.
Remember TPH you started it!
Well played . . . checkmate.
It was a warm June evening and as I gazed out the window at the wilted irises I though of you DB. I just wanted to say that I do feel bad for making fun of something that is a serious problem for you and I’m sure quite embarrassing. That is why I called the hobby lobby and am having a case of popsicle sticks sent over first thing in the morning. Oh and one more thing they last twice as long if you break them in half.
Cheers.
TPH
Embarrassing you ask TPH, hell no. I’m proud of “the Punisher” aka my love wand. The alcohol severely impaired my judgment. However my meat wrench was still on top of his game. He wouldn’t let me make the mistake of my life. I made a pack years ago that said I would never have sex with anyone who was part coyote and if the meat hatch is so nasty it burned my fingers, it will probably burn my dick. You know I been much drunker than that both before and after I went slumming with you and I never seemed to have a problem again. Maybe it’s because after my mistake with you it’s been nothing but hot or at least quasi attractive girls, what do you think?
I don’t care what Porterhouse says, a night trying to push your shit in isn’t worth getting a q-tip shoved up the head of my penis again. Thanks to the valiant effort or the lack there of by “the punisher” I can proudly say I have never tested positive to any STD’s, can you say the same? I applaud your effort in trying to embarrass me; however you’re simply out matched. But I will still CLAP for you just for the effort.
One last thing don’t be mad at me just because I turned you down Saturday night June 4, 2006. Think of it this way most girls never even get the chance you had, especially ones with your looks. I don’t lower my standards that far very often.
DB
Hello boys hope the bed store is treating you both well. NZ is amazing RT you would love it. Lots of hookers and 24 hour bars. Oh and brothels are a big thing as well. The hostel I'm staying at isn't far from the red light district. No I have not ventured there! I'm leaving the city tomorrow to go to Hamilton for the NZ All Blacks vs. Ireland rugby game. Then I will be traveling south to Christchurch. I may not be able to email often so have a great week and I will chat more when I can!
Miss ya!
Cheers
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