I might go to Hell for telling this story like this.

I’m not as PC as most people. I like to call things how I see them even at inappropriate times, which is why I refer to my boss as the Dirt Ball, because that is what he is. I can assure you things will not be different in this story. It was a Sunday Afternoon and I was at work like every other weekend. I happened to helping a customer who is a friend of mine and the Dirt ball was stalking some high school girl on Myspace.com. Then all of the sudden a Retard (Mentally Handicap) guy came running in the store ahead of his “normal” guardians. He makes it past me by giving me one of the most believable head jukes I have ever seen in my life and heads to the back of the store. He’s doing a little speed browsing so I figure he will be alright while DB assists the Norms with him. Somewhere in his browsing he stopped by our desk and was perusing a magazine which my cell phone happened to be right next to. I didn’t think twice about it cause usually tards are good natured people always ready to lift a helping hand, but not this one, this was a Dirty filthy stealing Tard. This shit throwing bed wetter jacked my phone right out from under me. When I finally realized what he had done and that my phone was no where to be found I called my phone several times praying for him to answer with “Have you seen my baseball?” to which I would have replied give me my F’n phone back you no good stealing tard. But that unfortunately never happened. So I moved to plan B and that was to text him hoping he can read. My first text, no joke was “If you have my phone, call (###-####) I will pay you cash for it.” This Tard was slick though and didn’t fall for it because he wasn’t going to get shit from me anyway. Then DB came up with an almost ingenious plan. He said I should offer Ice Cream as a reward because Tards love ice cream. So my second text to him was “If you bring me back my phone I’ll buy you all the Ice cream you can eat!!!” but he didn’t fall for that one either. So my last text with DB’s phone was “I know who you are and where you live, I’m coming to get my phone back. P.S. I’m gona take your baseball.”

Honestly I don’t hate Mentally Handicap People.