For those of you who don’t know The Drunk (A former roommate of the Fart Bunker) has been coaching week long hockey camps throughout the Rockies this summer and camping on the weekends with his coaching crew. TD has been so kind to give me a few calls over the summer and fill me in on his exploits. His most recent story came with a picture. I am not at liberty to elaborate on the story but the caption on the picture should be enough for you to draw your own conclusions.

TD and his life partner Ruley enjoying their

5 ways to tell that The Dirt Ball is in a Serious relationship!!!!

5. He tries to keep the girl a secret from only his closest friends.
(There's no Skank underneith that blanket)

4. He skiped his regular bowling night to watch The Notebook with her.



3. He talks about the girl constantly at work cause he loves telling his co-workers how big of a slut he hooked up with last night.



2. He hasn't given her the shocker cause he wants her respect.
(not an actual picture of her ass)


1. He ordered Midget Porn for her cause she thinks it would be fun to watch.

(Bidget The Midget)

“He got a couple lucky punches in but I still feel I won the fight!”

It didn’t take long for the Dirt Balls man whoring to catch up with him Deuce Bigalow style. Yep, I said it, The Dirt Ball finally made it to the line and then he crossed it with this really tough guy who will go by the name Secret Admirer.

It all started when old DB hooked up with Candi, you see Diamond finally found out about that little rendezvous and wasn’t too happy about the whole deal, but in DB’s words “Hey we were never dating, you have nothing to be mad about.”

The truth of the matter is Diamond didn’t really care that DB hooked up with her best friend; she finally found out what kind of a duesch bag he is was probably pretty happy to see him go. The real trouble started when Candi’s “Secret Admirer” found out about DB’s indiscretions and wanted to bring pain and suffering to DB’s life. (Cause you see, you don’t go and screw some girl that some guy likes, even though that girl doesn’t like that guy in that way, and makes her own decisions about who she wants to screw or not, cause that shit is wrong) So was this Secret admirer man enough to step into the ring with the Dirt Ball? Hell No. He had one of his friends call and threaten and DB with an ass kicking. Well anybody who knows the Dirt Ball, knows he doesn’t stand for unchecked aggression and idol threats. And all it took for DB to call this guy on his obvious bluff was a night of Pay Per View UFC, and a phone call. Needless to say this tough guy showed up at the Free Pay Per View event and called DB outside. Always the thinker DB had a friend hold his glasses and goes out blind to fight this big big righty.

The whole thing kind of started out a little weird, DB and this tough guy met outside the bar which should mean the an instant right to the nose for this tough guy but DB lets the guy think about what he is going to do and the 2 of them start walking across the street, then across a parking lot, then across another street, then across another parking lot. I personally didn’t understand it, that retard should have been wearing his nose on the left side of his face the instant he started walking across the first street, but I guess DB wanted to give him a chance (What a stand up guy). When they finally reached the fence at the end of the 2nd parking lot and the 2 pussies realized that if it was going to happen it was going to happen then, they both start throwing hey makers. DB was so open through the whole fight he looked like Butter Bean (Minus the knock out power, technique, and the belt of course). In the opening round this tough guy got Db on the ground and wedged in between a bumper of a truck and a parking lot curb, this should have been all this guy needed to end this thing but DB used his quick think ability (which is what got him into the fight in the first place) and kindly asked the guy if he would let him get up. I was dumbfounded when this moron did exactly that. This guy had the fight won but showed so little respect for DB’s tough guy attitude that he let him get up just so he could toy with him a little more. DB is on his feet now immediately throwing punches and tough guy backs DB up against another truck and the 2 exchange some close quarter punches which ends with an extremely loud and an extremely painful punch to DB’s left eye that bloodied him fairly bad and almost closed his eye completely.

I did have to hand it to DB though, it is not everyday a guy stands up and takes a beating for sleeping with a girl that some guys friend really likes. I think it was totally worth it.

Next stop Peggy

As everyone already knows Snapper Hunter has been in a drought. This drought has lasted so long he’s starting to remind me of a movie I just saw. Last night he went to an all time low, he called “the stupidest girl he’s ever met” you know the one that told him to stop being a dickhead. He called her SOBER and invited her to come to Sioux Falls. After she accepted his offer there was a glow coming off of him. I looked over at him and he had a permanent grin from ear to ear. He looked like a six year old kid on his way to buy a new puppy. He was supposed to go out with some other people last night however little SH needed a sure thing. So instead of a fun night of drinking and partying he chose to spend the night sipping a couple cold ones and sitting in the hot tub with his little pumpkin. As the night progressed he got a little buzz, and then decided to move in for the kiss, where he was immediately shut down. She said, “I thought we were just going to hang out as friends”. Well SH can’t stand being around this girl at all, the only reason he does it is to get laid well now that’s not going to happen. So he continues to get drunk and strike out several more times until they go to bed together and cuddle throughout the night. Although he didn’t get any ass, I for one am glad to see that he’s in love again. He has now giving his personal guarantee that he will never call her again. But as we all know we’ve heard that story several times before. SH has had a hard couple of weeks. First the “hold my purse” incident, then the “wedding flop”, and now shot down hard by a sure thing. What else can he do? I think we need to pool our resources and find Peggy’s number, surely not even he could fuck that one up.

Sincerely Dirt Ball

"There was hair pulling, crying, name calling and shit!!!"

Last night Diamond busted The Dirt Ball and Candy making out by the keg during a 4th Party she was throwing. Obviously a cat fight ensued, there was hair pulling, crying, name calling and shit, it was classic. The best part, it was inspired by DB and his self absorbed quest to sleep with every Bus station skank alive, and I mean every one, from the loneliest bus station skank to the most highest-class debutante sophisticated highly educated Bus station skank. So after the cat fight was over and both girls were crying in some quite corner of the party DB did what any self respecting man would do. He left and called candy on her cell to see if she wanted to hook up! Well played sir!!!

This is the Text Db received this morning:
Just so it’s perfectly clear.....I don’t want u to try and contact me again. Ever. Diamond


Touché!!! Diamond. Touché!!!

Alright Smitty!!!!

I know that it is just a picture this lonely skank took with you, but still, just getting her to talk to you must have been tough. She looks like she is way out of your league. I’ll bet Ruley wheeled her and you just snaked your way in for the pic.


If I’m way off base here feel free to let me know

P.S. How bombed are you in this pic?

WEDDING RECEPTION TONIGHT!!!!

I am on my way to a wedding tonight where I am supposedly going to be set up with a girl who was only described as “Pretty good.” I figure this could mean a number of things, especially since it came from my long time coaching partner who is in his 50’s. Maybe he doesn’t know what pretty good is. Maybe pretty good to him is any bus station skank in her 20’s. I pretty much am going to expect her to be that special kind of hideous; the kind that has no looks, personality, or prospects, kind of like me except worse. This way I figure if she has any one of the three I will have a good time.
I will do my best to snag a photo of this beast so she can be mocked by all