Breaking News

Yep, I think you all know who that is, so I won't even bother writing his name.

Ahh who Am I kidding, It's Chuck!!! He was the culprit who felt it was necessary to open the window this morning. I know it is dangerous to go around and talk shit about Norris and all, but is not every day that he hooks up with one of your roommates.

Now for a little bounus for the blogs regulars I'm gona help you picture Chuck, with the help of a description from The Drunk. Picture a cross between Bill gate's son, and Chuck (There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.) Norris.

+ = Enjoy.

It Stinks Like Sex In Here

So I had a relativly mellow night at the Garage last night, a few beers, a few laughs no big deal. I returned home to find neither The Drunk, or The Pirate Hooker in the fart bunker. Now this is not that unusual for a thursday night but something seemed odd last night. I remembered a call I got from TPH at the Garage where she asked if she brought a limo out could everyone fit in the bar? My reply was "we can fit everyone but you." After realizing that the 2 biggest alcoholics in South Dakota were out together in Brookings without any supervision, I thought maybe I should investigate, but I knew better. I decided I would try not to think about the naked mess of arms sweat and lube that TPH and TD were probably tangled up in, and I would go to bed. Lying in bed I for a while I hear a large crash come through the front door of the fart bunker, then everything went silent. I wondered if everyone was alright and thought maybe I should go downstairs to investigate, but then I remembered what happened to TD the last time he investigated TPH's where abouts, he poked his head in her room to see if she was home, and got an eye full of chucks naked anteater passed out next to TPH. (You FAG) Needless to say there was no way I was gona let that happen to me, I stayed in bed. I woke up this morning and the Fart Bunker didn't have it's ussual stench to it. It is more of a moldy bread soaking in a Tub of KY smell. Even though the culprit realized the smell was very very strong and opened up the window in the living room to air it out, it still took my breath away and knocked me to my knee's and made my eyes water as I walked down the stairs.

So now the question is who done it, kinda like the milton bradley game Clue? Could Chuck have performed an encore performance, could dillon have made another drunk bike ride to a house where he knew no one, just a Pirate hooker from a phone call, possibly a new Bartender from Ray's corner, well not new to ray's but new to TPH's squish mitten. Or could it have possibly have been local celebrity Glen The Can Man, it has been rumored that Glen has recently ended his world record streak for striking out after some lonely chick with very little self esteem was seen making out with him at Skinners Pub home of the Blizzard beer system, which serves draft beer up at 28 degrees. I havn't found any real evidence around the apartment that would suggest any of these canididates, but that fact is why I can't rule any of them out. Someday the truth will come out but probably not till TPH and TD get back from their date tonight at the OAR concert in The Big city.

Severe Weather Alert

The national weather service has issued a severe weather warning for the 200 block of Folsom st in Brookings SD. Residents of that area are advised to lock up their daughters and booze and seek shelter. The Storm has recently been named Hurricane JAT, a combination I’m told of Jami and Pat. The hurricane has been in a stationary position over the Fart Bunker all of Saturday morning and is currently a class 2 shit storm. The Hurricane is expected progress into a class 4 possibly class 5 shit storm by 9 pm Saturday night, as the weather service has learned about a large quantity of Natural Ice and Strip and go naked’s that are going to be consumed by the storm. Ugliness is predicted till early into the morning.

Imagine the "Rocky" Theme Song Playing

This blog was created as a way to post stories I thought my friends would like to hear. I used to have to type the same story to multiple friends and I thought this blog would be a good way to cut down on alot of the keyboard time. All that keyboard time allowed me to elaberated on some of the more comical parts of the story's so everytime it got told it was a little different and lets just say enriched, like wonder bread. So I started Go to your hole, a way for me to write stories for my friends and aquantances to read about the day to day happenings of my apartment, and in doing so I needed to juice up some of my stories, cause honestly they are all funny as shit when they happen but they lose something when they are told staight up. So I took the liberty of embelishing on some points of the stories I have told, and in doing so one of my good friends thought I wasn't her freind anymore, Nothing could have been farther from the truth. But I also Offended her and for that I appologized, many times and thought maybe this blog be should stop.

First I thought the blog needed to die, it needed to be stopped, it was out of control, it had taken a mind of it's own and had created a negative vibe in our apartment and deep within Jami's Hole. The Vibe reverberated it's way through every nook and crany of this apartment and it's ocupants. So with a heavy heart I had to put it to bed.

But,

A good Champ knows how to get back up after getting knocked down, and that is what is happening here, after almost two months on the mat, Go to your Hole is Back!!!


So let me bring you up to speed, The Drunk finnally got his picture up on the wall of fame at the liquor store. Yep, it came as a surpise to me too. Apperently he found out the news when he stumbled into the Brookings Municipal liquor Store 15 minutes before noon. He was greeted by every employee present with a " Hello TD", his stage name. TD thought nothing of this because he is treated like a king everywhere he goes, so he meandered his way over to the whiskey isle where he chose the only whiskey suitable for drinking before noon, LORD CALVERT. Still not knowing the big news he made his way over to the sales counter and perceded to pull out his ID, out of habit, when the sales clerk said " We don't need to see your ID little fucker" I guess it is some sort of pet name she has for him since she did his dad when he was in Highschool, and pointed to a picture on the wall. TD turned around to see a picture of Him with "Glen the Can Man", totally wasted (pictured Above). TD laughed hard about the whole ordeal, then said I got to go, It's almost noon and I'm dry as dirt.

There is no real news on Cheese, Formerly TPH. I could tell some stories about Chuck, but I need to check my sources first. So I will try to get everyone fully back up to speed soon.